..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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