Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Even my vagina gasped.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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