I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
