I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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