Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
