swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
