He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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