haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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