I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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