If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
