I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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