Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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