Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
