so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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