Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
