Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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