mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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