You're completely useless in the revolution.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
