got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
