Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have already put on my inside pants.
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