I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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