On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
