I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
