ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
