I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
