I'm jealous of your bromance
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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