Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
