she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
