Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have fence marks all over my body
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
