there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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