Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The power of my boobs compel you
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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