I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
