she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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