i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
