just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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