I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
