gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
