If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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