While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize