she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
