i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
