he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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