I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
