you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
