No awkward lesbian experiences without me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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