it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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