I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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