He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
