How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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