Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
