i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Never underestimate the power of titties
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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