apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
