I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
barbara walters just said penis...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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