yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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