She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
