I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
