So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
