who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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