i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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