my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
