well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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