Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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