is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
