When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
