so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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