I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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